Disgruntled Plumber

Overpriced Games Might Be the Only Thing Saving Nintendo

What separates Nintendo from your average Indie Developer? Or even small and unheard of AAA companies like Bethesda, Konami, Epic Games and Microsoft? Money. Just look at the price tag of those things. Yikes. How could they justify paying $60 USD for a Mario game, when Wario hasn't had a title since 2008? And no, WarioWare doesn't count. We're talking a full-on, Wario as the lead playable character, zero Mario reference type of Wario game.

What even started this capitalist plumber's journey? No one really knows why he became the biggest character in video games. A recent poll that I took with five of my friends concluded that 50% of children have not heard of Mickey Mouse, but 100% of children were born with immediate and extensive Mario Mario knowledge, including his first and last name. Also, can we talk about his name being Mario Mario? Some say that is just a dead giveaway for some sort of identity fraud. And why would his brother Luigi accept the name Luigi Mario? There is a well known joke that has been circling the internet in which fans do not know his name. This tasteless form of humor even goes as far as his own mother referring to him as Green Mario. However, on further inspection, that may actually be a legitimate version of the likely fraudulent name he is known by. Authorities have been looking into the identities of these plumbers for years and have found no record of their births.

Bringing us back to the topic on hand, Nintendo will continue throwing out overpriced Mario Mario and Luigi Mario titles. Though, to be fair, they are fairly priced. But the price is too high when we take into consideration that Wario and Waluigi do not have anywhere near the same amount of games or recognition. It is even rumored that both Wario and Waluigi do not have last names, though they are also likely brothers and plumbers. Is this an attempt to further remove Nintendo coin-based currency from the player's home console? All Wario has done is try to bring more money to the player's home and portable console screens, and yet he is portrayed as greedy and selfish to do so. The money was never for himself, but to share with the economy through carefully planned trickle down economics.

Think Mario fan, think. Nintendo is going to outlast every AAA development company with their monopoly of a gaming system. And who are they going to use to squeeze money from your pockets? That's right, Mario. Wario was always bathing in coins on the player's system, but it's common knowledge that any coins collected by Mario immediately gets transported to Nintendo headquarters. So who's the real villain of the Mario franchise? Spoiler alert: it's not Wario.

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