The Nintendo Switch Pro Is Here and It Is Terrible
Written by Disgruntled Plumber - Wednesday, Jun 16, 2021 at 8:50am
Well, here it is. The Nintendo Switch Pro. It's awful. Bad. Zero out of eight stars. The most important missing feature? There are absolutely zero Wario games available for this system.
No one knows why this abomination of a system was created. Out of spite maybe? The graphics may surpass the Nintendo Switch, but the amount of Wario titles available to play is just straight up unacceptable.
On top of the lack of Wario games, the name they chose for the rumored Nintendo Switch Pro is confusing at best. Instead of Nintendo Switch Pro or Super Nintendo Switch, they went with Game and Watch: The Legend of Zelda. Who even has the time of day to speak those words into existence? It even has a clock feature so you can watch time fall through your ungloved hands as you take the time to utter these awful words.
Just look at it.
It's so ugly.
We hope you're ready for some bad Wario-less times ahead, because this system is just that.
Back to home
Why Mario Wonder is a Terrible Game
May 7, 2024 - 2 min. read
Mario wonder is a unique game in the Mario franchise. It boasts creative level design, intuitive gameplay, new power ups, and more. But there’s one incredibly overlooked missed opportunity in this game that could’ve changed it from a 1 star ratin... (Read_More)
Epic Games Makes It Obvious - Last Resort to Make Fortnite a Good Game
Sep 2, 2023 - 2 min. read
In a move that is both shocking and entertaining, Epic Games has named their latest update for Fortnite "Last Resort." The update is said to be a major overhaul of the game, with new features, weapons, and gameplay mechanics.
... (Read_More)
Unplayable Mess: Vampire Survivors Fails Miserably for One Glaring Reason
Aug 16, 2023 - 3 min. read
In a world full of promising indie games and innovative titles, there comes a time when one game shatters all expectations of decency and creativity. Enter "Vampire Survivors," a dumpster fire of a game that somehow managed to disappoint ga... (Read_More)
Day 2021 of Fortnite with No Wario
Feb 2, 2023 - 1 min. read
My hands are shaking as I write this article through unplunged tears. Fortnite has been released for 2,021 days and, according to our research department, there is still not one sign of Epic Games adding Wario as a playable character.
... (Read_More)
Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Review
Nov 28, 2022 - 2 min. read
Pokemon Scarlet and Pokemon Violet have been out for a short amount of time and boy do we have plenty to say about it. As usual, there have been several complaints about the graphics and overall lack of quality. But there is one cardinal sin that the... (Read_More)
Paramount Writers Aim To Delete Halo From All Xboxes
Jul 7, 2022 - 2 min. read
"We didn’t even look at the games. We tried to forget their existence. But that didn't work... It's time to try everyone forgetting their existence."
The writer's room for the Paramount Plus Halo TV series grows in intensi... (Read_More)
Overpriced Games Might Be the Only Thing Saving Nintendo
Jun 5, 2021 - 3 min. read
What separates Nintendo from your average Indie Developer? Or even small and unheard of AAA companies like Bethesda, Konami, Epic Games and Microsoft? Money. Just look at the price tag of those things. Yikes. How could they justify paying $60 USD for... (Read_More)